I still miss her. Of course I still miss her. She was, and in some ways still is, the heart of our family. When it happened it was brutal. I was young, 26, but I don't think it matters how old you are when your mum passes, or what your relationship was like. At that moment, the child in you just wants your mum to make it all better.
I had a client recently ask me how long it takes to get over grief. Get over it. It doesn't feel like the right way to think about it. I don't want to get over my Mum passing, but that doesn't mean it's still the same pain. Life grows around the wound, and eventually you're able to smile at memories more than cry. To think about the person warts and all, and how they shaped your life.
Grief isn't linear. It's not something you can measure, comparing how you feel one day against the next. Sometimes something random comes out of the blue, a smell, a conversation, a character in a film, and suddenly you're back in the heart of it. But as time passes, it does ease. Talking can help. I had one client talk about someone they'd loved and lost so vividly that I felt like I'd known him too, and felt the loss of him no longer being around.
If you've experienced grief and are looking for some support, give me a call. I'm sorry for whatever loss brought you here. I'd welcome the chance to sit beside you while you process this, and to get to know your loved one through your memories.
